Now is not the time for silence

One of the issues which has arisen as we try to address abuse within the CREC is that some feel that we are “painting everyone with the same brush.” I do not believe this is true (many have held out hope for Peter Leithart, believing him to be a humble and godly man, and there was great rejoicing when he published his public apology for his participation in the Wight debacle), but I can see why it might appear this way.

The problem is that we’re not just trying to address certain abusive individuals. Yes, many stories begin with an abusive individual (frequently either allowed to proceed unhindered or sometimes even abetted by church leadership) or with the bullying or spiritual abuse of an actual church leader. We find a good example of this in Doug’s letter to Gary Greenfield. The issue is not just that Doug threatened to bar Gary from the table.  It’s that Doug wrote a letter insinuating that if Gary didn’t follow his advice, Gary would be a failure as a father. Given that Gary was already deeply hurting over what Wight did to his daughter, this was an especially cruel way to control Gary.

While all this is very concerning, we also have to address the culture of silence which we experienced. This is key to the abuses which go on. It is considered unChristian and bitter to try to speak to others about abuses, and when we speak to elders and church leadership about them, we either go around in circles or get shut down entirely.

Some of my friends are being asked to privately discuss their difficulties rather than put them out in the open as they have chosen to do at this time. The problem is, trying to handle things behind closed doors is part of what has brought us here. There are no appeals, no way to verify information given by/to different parties, and no real pressure to resolve issues and get them right.

Amber’s story is a good example of the kind of silencing that goes on. In the name of not gossiping, she was not permitted to share the pain and hurt she experienced, not able to benefit from what others knew about her fiance, and he was allowed to save face and remain in an influential position in the church. This is a frequent issue. Really strange stuff goes down behind the scenes and then the hurt party must pretend it was just a falling out among friends. Others may even see them as unforgiving because they are not aware of the extent of the damage that was done.

I think there are other elements to CREC culture which contribute to these issues, and I hope I can begin to address them in an edifying way in the days and weeks to follow. But I would like for some to begin to ponder on this issue.

One final note is that the degree of silencing and how intentional it is varies from person to person and church to church. I think for the most part this culture is perpetuated by people with really good intentions. All the more reason to bring this all into the open and allow everyone to see what has been happening.

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6 comments on “Now is not the time for silence

  1. Any Christian who sets himself up as a teacher in the church of Christ and publicly teaches anything thereby opens himself up for criticism by others (cf. James 3:1). If they think what he is teaching is harmful to the church, they have an obligation to point it out just as widely as it was taught. Such public warning or debate on the topic should not be considered a personal attack at all. The teacher’s plea that a critic should first have come to him about his disagreement on the basis of Matthew 18:15 does not hold. This passage has to do with personal wrongs known only between the two, who should privately discuss the matter that separates them. What a critic of a public teaching does in pointing out his disagreement with that teaching has nothing to do with personal affronts or lack of reconciliation; he is simply disagreeing at the same public level as that on which the teaching was given in the first place. — Dr. Jay E. Adams, Grist from Adam’s Mill, 69

    • Rache’,

      While Dr. Adams says the above.

      God Says:

      James 4
      11 Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. 12 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?

      Lets’ go with God.

      Thanks and Salt, Jason

      • Sarah says:

        Jason,

        I will just note that you have also made a judgment on this post and the aims of those of us who are writing on this topic. We could go back and forth and call each other slanderers or we could conclude that the issue rests on whether the claims are true or not and just go from there.

      • R2D2 says:

        “…But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler– not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church? But those who are outside, God judges. REMOVE THE WICKED MAN FROM AMONG YOURSELVES.”

        I Corinthians 5:12 We are instructed to judge within the church, and leave those outside the church to God. Many Christians, strangely, reverse this command. Like Doug Wilson, they want to judge the culture, but decry any criticism direct at themselves.

    • R2D2 says:

      Agreed, Rachel. Teachers manipulate Matthew 18 to try to control dissent when they are instead subject to being evaluated by I Timothy 3 and Titus 1, and the instruction to evaluate is given to the church at large. Perhaps such manipulation of the scriptures should make us consider whether they are false teachers after all? Thanks for posting.

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